we have entered the final stage

computer, initiate “self-annihilation” protocol

and get one of these damn robots to pour me a stiff drink

it’s time to meet the big man, baby

Being alive feels like watching television through a keyhole

And the television is a hundred feet away

And it is partially obscured by a dirty fish tank

My father told me if I build a house on his land I can live there. Maybe he was joking. I don’t think he was. Anyway I think about this all the time.

At the heart of my distrust for all authority figures / agencies is this simple question: “What kind of person wants to be in charge of something?”

I have not washed my hair with anything except apple cider vinegar and / or vitamin E oil in over three years


The end!

I try not to hate anyone, especially children, but I am sad to say that as of today I have decided that I absolutely hate the baby who lives next door to me

That dude is an asshole


God dang it, this is definitely one of the greatest albums a human ever made

I think so, anyway, but then what do I know~ ☆



Today I starred in an informercial for a show that is going to take place on top of a gigantic halfpipe a few blocks from my house