28 February 2017

i’m sorry: in my experience, 99% of photographers represent what i dislike more than anything on earth, which is phoniness

my friend emi is a photographer and she’s a real good one. she is what you might call a quote-unquote honest sort of artist. my friend phil is also a photographer and he ain’t a fraud neither.

but i swear, you look around, and these bloodsuckers are all over the internet, and they’re posting black and white pictures of trees with a god darn instagram caption four or five paragraphs long about . . . looking for “genuine connections,” and being in nature, and how inspired they are by talking to homeless people, and all this other absolute horseshit that doesn’t have a ring of truth to it

and then you hear stories, as i do in portland, about how many of them are creepy fucking predators!!

good lord, these lizards

these slimeballs!

y’all can shove your cameras up your own asses for all i care

. . . if there’s room! cuz i reckon your uh heads are also up your own asses big time!!!

ok i’m done sounding like holden caulfield and also addressing an invisible enemy for no real reason

(does the fact that i’m paralyzingly self-aware about how dumb i sound absolve me of all my sins? i wonder)

uh anyway bye lol

28 February 2017

So as long as a few things line up in the next 30 days, I’ll be back in the Bay Area in about as much time. My friend Brandon is helping me get a job, and he told me: “Just don’t make that cover letter too weird!”

And I said: “Am I the sort of person who seems like they would write a weird cover letter?”

And he said: “Yeah!”

It’s a good thing he told me that, because I’m pretty sure I was going to default to making that cover letter weird! I’m willing to bet that’s why I’ve missed out on a bunch of jobs I’ve applied for over the course of my sad dumb life.

I’m gonna crank it down a little!

You gotta, you know, be yourself or whatever—but not too much yourself! Hell, they don’t want that, and maybe I don’t blame them either.

Heck, dude. I’m so pumped. If it falls through I’m going down to Los Angeles. I got some stuff lined up there as a sort of plan B. I reckon I’ll end up in LA sooner or later, but the reason I’m choosing the Bay Area this time around is because that’s where all my friends are. If I were old and rich, or poor and totally fucked out forever, I’d for sure be going to LA right now . . . or maybe Antarctica. But no! The Bay Area it is.

That place kinda sucks in the same way every place kinda sucks, but man, I sure do like it a whole lot.

OK! Back to work!

27 February 2017

i told the girl at the checkout counter, i said: “i’m about to have a real wild time at home”

27 February 2017

i finished rewatching ‘twin peaks’ on february 23rd, which is the day laura palmer died

i did this by accident! it was a nice surprise

the next day, february 24th, i watched the pilot again. man it’s so good. it’s like its own little movie. 

february 24th is also the day agent cooper arrives in twin peaks:

anyway the picture at the top is from today— is from my Secret Sunday Ritual at a Secret Restaurant in southeast portland. anyone is welcome to come as long as they know where it is!

today i got coffee and pie. if you’ve never had coffee and pie at the same time before: hoo! baby! you’re missing out big time.

that’s marionberry pie! marionberries grow in oregon, which is where i live. they put marionberries on everything here. i have marionberry jam. i put it on toast!

my cat doesn’t have cancer. i feel real fine about that. how y’all doing???

y’all wanna get some coffee and pie or what????

26 February 2017

Portland would be great if it weren’t for the fact that there are only two different flavors of human and they both suck!!!!!!

24 February 2017

last night i dreamed that i was sitting in my friend molly’s bed, and there was a bath faucet sticking out of the wall, and i kept filling a wine glass with cold water and then drinking it

i dreamed of water

i woke up drooling

22 February 2017

i’m lying here in the dark listening to cyndi lauper

if anyone ever asks you if i love cyndi lauper, the answer is yes~

20 February 2017

dante’s biopsy results came back today

guess who doesn’t have cancer!!!

<3 <3 <3