I got a black eye maybe two years ago. I was boxing with someone in my backyard in Oakland and I got punched in the face.

The capillaries beneath my right eye have never fully healed (or whatever they do). And so I have this slightly darker, droopier, Edgar Allan Poe-looking lower eyelid. Uh, it’s kind of cool! I guess I will probably have it for the rest of my life.

The end!!