Last night it rained, and I thought that was very unusual because it almost never rains, and I was thinking about something I had seen long ago—maybe a decade ago now . . . some warped, foggy, thrice-photocopied Chinese knockoff facsimile of a memory. And for once the confusion lifted, and my brain wasn’t quite so scrambled, and I almost missed what I had seen in my head. And what was it? I haven’t the slightest damn clue . . . a smeary vision of my father’s face, maybe, when he was younger. Before I could hold onto it my brain surged with a white-hot solar flare, wiping out everything in its path, and instantly I returned to my usual status as a dead-empty time-rotten creature with the emotional complexity of a rained-on duffel bag full of vampire feces.
The squares and the sociopaths will eventually succeed in killing off the thinkers and the feelers and then I guess they’ll finally be able turn this planet into a fishbowl filled with flaming dog shit
Bones in a god damn wooden box
The only reliably true thing I could say about myself is “that won’t work on me”
Jesus Christ what is this
Twenty-six god damn years old and I sit alone in a room glowing with Christmas lights while blood rushes through my head to power a stupid thing that doesn’t want to be a thing at all
I’m going insane over here because I can’t get anything to affect me
I am unaffected
Please! For god’s sake! It’s imperative that I process something, anything, instead of shrugging it off
Nothing moves me!
I am held together with tape and twine
A couple of garbage bags molded into the shape of a human being and fooling no one
None of us are going to heaven. They’re going to hose off whatever’s left and it’s down the drain we go—to that starless place where no moonlight glows.
Virginia I miss you
M I miss you more
I would rather listen to an elephant choke to death on its own vomit than go outside again
And I love elephants