today i went to PARADISE PARK CAFE down the STREET from me to visit my friend HANNAH and get some COFFEE

while i was waiting for my coffee, i went to the back to use the restroom. the little locking mechanism displayed a green band upon which was writ a single word:

VACANT

SAID I ALOUD TO THE DOOR: “yeah, you and me both, buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(before posting this, i searched all 3,400 entries of this website to make sure i haven’t written about a similar incident before, which is a frightening and embarrassing possibility . . . what with the frequency in which i address inanimate objects who accidentally represent abstract concepts i have cartoonishly convinced myself i embody!!!!)

thanks for the coffee hannah

i don’t think you discounted me but it’s ok. you can’t go out into the world expecting anything to be given to you. but you can be sure you will have something taken from you—tangible or otherwise!

seeya at burger boogaloo next week punk!!!!!