Last night I was feeling rough as hell, so I walked down to the corner store and bought a $10 bottle of Bulleit. The lady beneath the counter, who was middle-aged and seemed like she was someone’s aunt or something, asked for my ID. She held it up to the light and said, “You look cute here.”

I said: “What??”

And she seemed embarrassed but she said it again anyway: “You look cute here.”

I said: “Lady!!! Get outta here.”

Look how bad my haircut is (sup McCune):

Can I still shop there??