I went to Ruby Room by myself tonight. It was cool. I drove my newly-cleaned / waxed car there and everything. I had been neglecting my whole life for two months, was looking and feeling bad, and had forgotten about the things I cared about . . . and now my clothes are clean and my teeth are brushed and I’m at my favorite bar in the whole world. And I got a shot and a beer and the bartender said he was only gonna charge me the happy hour price even though it was close to 11 pm . . . and I said, well hell, why are you gonna do that?? And he said a thing that made me feel good in a way only a bartender can make you feel good. He said:

“Because I fuckin know who are you, man.”

I tipped him the cost my shot and beer and I said, “Thank you for always being so nice to me.” This guy has been there for about as long as I’ve been going there, a long time now . . . and he winked at me! Well, look at that.

I sat down in the Han Solo booth by the door and thought about some shit. See: I got this vacation time I’ve been saving up and I got no good place to put it anymore . . . so I inverted the colors on my phone and booked three trips. I’ll write about them more tomorrow, but hell: I’m going to Los Angeles and San Diego and Detroit. I’m staying with my friends there. It will be real cool.

Today I drafted a post with the slug THE STARSAILOR RETURNS, and I’ll get into all this stuff more in that post, but yeah: if you’re Chantal and Sarah and Amissa and Alex and Logan and Storm, look out y’all cuz I’m coming. H’okay????

Laura and I are going to a salon together in the city on Monday. And then I’m having a New Year’s party at my house with my new haircut. Man! Yeah. OK I guess this post really is just a prelude to something longer, but I’m about to go to bed and I’m excited. It’s been a real rough time, so I gotta feel excited or else I don’t know.

Yeah. Well: Good-night Neverland!!! ☆彡

my little sister took this picture of me standing by the austrian parliament building in vienna back in october

i am holding a bag which contained my grandmother’s remains

we buried her in her cousin’s flower garden in the country a few hours later

When you live in a city with a bunch of transplants, which is just about everywhere these days, and you yourself have nowhere to go for Christmas, what with not having a family or a hometown or anything anymore, you might end up sheltering all the little Christmas orphans in your city one year. For me that year was this year!! My friends and I were broke and tired and depressed, and didn’t want to be alone, so we bought $150 worth of groceries and cranked the thermostat and hid inside my little Hobbit hole of a house watching movies and drinking coffee for three straight days. It was beautiful. I reckon it was the best Christmas of my whole adult life.

Anyway one last picture dump:

Bring it back! I wanna go back. . . !

we made a huge (vegan!!) dinner and watched a bunch of movies and played mario kart and did face masks and combed dante

i’m going to sleep now

i love you my sweet christmas friends!!!

thanks mccune

it is christmas eve officially i guess and my house is full of my sleeping friends

i saw my grandmother for the last time one year ago today

oh man!!! i’m so excited for christmas. it’s been a long long time since i felt that way. i mean, hell, i’ve spent two christmases completely alone, so i know what a bad christmas feels like. but not this year!!!! b*tch!!!

laura and joey and gayle are coming over on christmas eve and we’re gonna turn on the heater and wear comfortable grandma clothes and make a huge dinner and cuddle with dante!!!! i gotta start figuring out what we’re gonna make . . . i’m just gonna drive us all to berkeley bowl and drop $100 on food. and hopefully buy up every last carton of oatly they got in there (which laura did about a month ago lol). god, there’s got to be dozens of bottles of bubble water too, and cheap crappy wine. aaiiieeee~

oh man! and the tree i got is beautiful. i’m gonna decorate the shit out of that thing when i get home today.

i’ll put up some pics soon~~

love,
the christmas kids ☆

I have had a “”family phone plan”” for something like five years now. It is stuffed full of my friends. I can’t fit any more friends! There’s six of these god darn people on this thing!!!

Anyway: I am a sort of overseer, since the plan is in my name and connected to my social security number, and all that. And every month I send everyone an email saying how much they owe and when it’s due. I guess I usually do a Christmas email??? I need to do this year’s ASAP. This is apparently what arrived in everyone’s inbox last year:

subject: MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS ……IT’S PHONE BILL TYME

whOOpps!!!!! . . . …..the holidays crept up on me like a HERPES in a WIND TURBINE and gues who forgot to send out this, our sacred phone bill emaill…,,

step right up, folks, cuz uncle sam’s bff corporate america needs your hard-earned blood-soaked smackers!!!!!

RYAN: $44.96
TRACEY: $90.28
LAURA: $25.69
AMANDA: $23.38
MCCUNE: $53.38
KERWIN: $60.03
JASON: $51.72

FEAST YOUR EYES on YOUR DWINDLING BANK ACCOUNT, as you pay exorbitant fees to USE a MIND-POISONING DEVICE you ABSOLUTELY HATE

oK!!!! go forth and lay down some hot bread. keep them fat pigs sweating, why don’t you! we’re on a big fucking roller coaster ride straight to the darkest depths of hell . . . . . … and it’s gonna cost ya big! mucho dinero, baby, going round and round down that big drain called ETERNITY . . . . along with your SOUL and the soul of everyone you’ve ever known??

god bless us, everyone

i’m not on drugs. i’m just having fun

your christmas friend,
RYAN STARSAILOR ☆彡

ok bye lol