OK I am For Real starting the Intern Proceedings this weekend. I am going to begin interviewing the beautiful fools who have responded to my Craigslist ad, bless their hearts. Oh, god! What am I doing? My stupid meaningless whatever. Well . . . for me at least, it sure beats the alternative. I mean I guess it does.

Come, Sancho!! Let us. . . .

. . . ride as brothers on the wild plains of this doomed world! And. . . .

. . . indulge in philosophical reflections! And. . . .

. . . venture into the terrifying forest at night! And. . . .

. . . uh, find trees full of hanged men. And finally. . . .

. . . sadly revisit the place of my defeat, which is every miserable inch of this earth which I have trod and skulked and crawled upon in the 30 years of my grotesquely vaporous life!

Do you got what it TAKES? Email me! I’m serious as a heart attack, unfortunately.