Lord help me, I got them

NEW YEAR BLUES

But it’s fine. All things must pass, and so too shall this. I went out walking through Oakland and Berkeley on New Year’s Day on account of McCune was hosting karaoke night at his very own HESHER’S PIZZA in beautiful (just kidding) Jack London Square. So I went a-walkin to TAKE IT IN one last time before I head back to the East Coast. It was spooky as hell out . . . often I was the only person around. New Year’s is always eerie in that way. I always wonder: Where are these freaks? Though yeah: So long for now, Oakland. Goodbye to all that! I am flying to Tennessee to spend a week with my beloved Pep-Pep, and then I will drive east to Virginia, and lie low for a little while . . . and I think I will take a bus up to New York for my birthday again. Why not?

At my dad’s fortified compoundI will finally have time to write about all the clownish adventures I have had since last time I was in New York, which was in November. After that I went upstate into Vermont and into Canada, to Montreal and Toronto, and west towards Detroit and Chicago, where I caught a plane back to Los Angeles. I have been on the West Coast all that time. Two weeks ago I was in Portland cat-sitting my nephew Bilbo for Monty while she and her family went to Boise to scope out houses, and then I took a bus to Seattle to see Jackson, and finally I drove north to Vancouver where I had a strange night stoned out of my mind traversing the entire city all covered in wintry rain, and later ending up in a fleabag hotel downtown to sleep the way I imagine the dead do. Next day heading back down to Seattle towards Tacoma I was apprehended at the US-Canadian border by US Border Patrol, who suspected I was a sort of international drug trafficker. And on the same day I drove another 14 hours through nearly a thousand miles of rain to get back to Vallejo in time for Christmas. It’s a long story. I have already begun typing it up, so please anticipate it! But only if you want to . . .

OK: Tomorrow is my last day in California for a while, and I have to be up early to catch a ride with McCune from McCune Compound in Vallejo back down to Oakland to hang out at Hesher’s finishing up my Christmas cards . . . and in the afternoon I will take BART across the Bay to San Francisco to crash with Laura and her sister Eli for the night on account of I have a godforsaken flight to catch out of SFO at six in the god damn morning on Saturday. It was the shortest flight I could find. That is a miserable flight no matter how you cut it, so it behooves one to shave off as much time as possible, even if it mere minutes, as I have done.

For now, sweet dreams from my dear nephew Tower and Beezer the cat and me:

☆彡

i feel a foreboding. i don’t like it!

“and stay down!” (1998)
charles keegan

probably the only truly improbable part about EYES WIDE SHUT —  which is a christmas movie, and which i love a lot —  is that weed would make someone aggressive lol

see the lonely boy out on the weekend trying to make it pay

can’t relate to joy he tries to speak and can’t begin to say

my good friend alayna took this picture of me beneath the half moon in berkeley, california during one of our walks last year. she sent it to me last sunday on the night of the full moon

i was here in portland cat-sitting my nephew bilbo . . . i saw the full moon through the fog above the city. being here is making me feel a little sad on account of i once spent a long sad year here, and am reminded of that year. on friday i take a bus up to seattle to see jackson, and then i’ll drive to vancouver to see cera in her natural habitat before heading back down to oakland to spend christmas with the mccunes~

“Oh! thou clear spirit of clear fire, whom on these seas I as Persian once did worship, till in the sacramental act so burned by thee, that to this hour I bear the scar; I now know thee, thou clear spirit, and I now know that thy right worship is defiance. To neither love nor reverence wilt thou be kind; and e’en for hate thou canst but kill; and all are killed. No fearless fool now fronts thee. I own thy speechless, placeless power; but to the last gasp of my earthquake life will dispute unconditional, unintegral mastery in me. In the midst of the personified impersonal, a personality stands here. Though but a point at best; whenceso’er I came; whereso’er I go; yet while I earthly live, the queenly personality lives in me, and feels her royal rights. But war is pain, and hate is woe. Come in thy lowest form of love, and I will kneel and kiss thee; but at thy highest, come as mere supernal power; and though thou launchest navies of full-freighted worlds, there’s that in here that still remains indifferent. Oh, thou clear spirit, of thy fire thou madest me, and like a true child of fire, I breathe it back to thee.”

moby-dick of course

11 december 2024
berkeley, california

i miss norm macdonald. he was a cool dude. i think about what he said often. i agree with every word

i don’t understand it when people don’t like christmas. christmas rules