08 July 2019

oh man! i went to SLAUGHTERMELON on the fourth of july! hosted by mitch and leyla! at leyla’s parents’ house! we karate chopped and mallet-smashed watermelons together in perfect harmony. i go every year. i’m proud of myself because i actually stayed the whole time this year. also i accidentally broke the table (lol)

anyway yeah TOMBO took these pictures! jackson was there too but somehow he avoided being in any pictures at all??

it was cool!! i have cool friends

ok bye ☆彡

(p.s. if you look closely, you can see me and my buddy comparing self-harm scars while everyone else is watching mitch roll around in watermelon corpses~~)

08 July 2019

man yeah . . . i live in the strange little world between both sentiments and it rules

07 July 2019

what happened? since christmas on my life has gotten much weirder / cooler. and i gotta say, jerry:

i am riding the crest of a high and beautiful intergalactic wave. . . .

mmhmmmmmm ☆彡

05 July 2019

In honor of my hero GRITT CALHOON, a celebrated veteran of many wars in a time we have not yet experienced, I have discounted his first appearance in literature from $3.00 to $0.74 for the weekend. What a bargain! I make precisely zero money off of this thing so really it’s more like “I just want you to have it . . . dollars be damned!”

Please buy my stupid book!!!

“O say can yew fuckin see,” said Gritt, filled with awe at the sight.

“By the dawn’s early fuckin light,” said Shark as he loaded a modified 300-round Beta C-MAG drum magazine into his G36 assault rifle.

Gritt shoved his hand into his boxer briefs and clutched a pocket-sized copy of the U.S. Constitution. I will fight for these words, he thought. Even if I’m the only fuckin one. Cain’t help it. Still believe in this shit. Might be the only thing I still believe in ‘sides the healing power of snortin nose sugar with a coupla college chicks. . . .

A cacophony of diesel engines roared over the pitch-black emptiness. It reminded Gritt of the legion of mutant wasps he and Shark had slayed on Christmas morning in the mineral caves of Io nearly two decades before. . . .

Yeah baby!!!!