Laura and Joey and I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas together. For some reason I didn’t take many pictures! But:

We watched THE LORD OF THE RINGS over two days, and made a lot of food, and Facetime’d Laura’s sisters in Canada. I was very sad when they left, and remained that way until Emma came over on New Year’s Eve to hang out with me. See, pretty much everyone we know has covid except us, so we couldn’t go anywhere and do anything with anyone else. Though you know what: it was great. We got In-N-Out and hung out at Target, and then drank cheap prosecco and played Super Monkey Ball and watched PAPER MOON. At midnight, we clinked our little glasses together and hugged.

Well: being with my friends made me feel a warmth in my heart. And it sure beats last Christmas and New Year’s Eve, both of which I spent alone!

Though now I reckon it will be something of a sad week, what with all the good stuff having ended and gone away till next year. However: there are only seven days till The Clown Girl returns . . . so I’ll be all right then.

Good-night~ ☆彡

Last night, feeling sadder than hell about a few things, and missing my friend, and not being able to sleep, and so on— I took a Herculean swig of NyQuil and collapsed in my bed. I had dozens of surreal fever dreams, some of them pleasant but mostly bad. When I awoke this afternoon, some 12 or 13 hours later, I had a feeling of unreality that persisted for most of the day.

Said I to Laura, as the long dark dream bled on:


At some point I did a thing I sometimes do, which is to look in the mirror. I saw that I had somehow scratched my own face with my fingernails in my sleep. They were light grazes, but for all intents and purposes I looked something like this:

How did this happen? I wonder. It must have been the NyQuil nightmares that had me flailing around.

Well! It’s back to skullcap and passion flower capsules for me. I don’t dig on NyQuil. It’s too powerful. It’s bad craziness is what it is. I still miss my friend though, and god knows I can’t sleep.

I’ll write more about this later . . . but long story short: I am now an Austrian citizen, and as a result, I can travel and work and live in all 27 of the EU countries. I can even vote in elections. Whoa!

But here’s a thing I wrote about it back in February, when my sister and I were still getting all the paperwork together~


i am the only person i know who takes naps at midnight and drinks coffee at three in the morning lol