10 July 2026

even if winds blow the september leaves and the beach girls break your heart

10 July 2026

I woke up to these texts from Nicole the Polish Girl. I felt Seen. The context is that apparently we will both be in Italy at the same time toward the end of July. I told her she could find me in the shade.

And I said also that perhaps for the second time this year we shall run into each other again in a country where neither of us lives . . . provided the Father wills it. Nothing will ever top the miraculous and fated one-in-ten-million chance of seeing Nicole at Narita Airport in Tokyo after nearly dying in a plane crash off the coast of Japan, though hey: I’ll take any opportunity to see her again. She truly is one of God’s own prototypes, never even considered for mass production. To know a person such as this is to glimpse the promise of Eternity. She is proof of it.

Meanwhile, Nicole the Italian Girl, another angel among us, who will also be in Italy with Bex and me, has shown concern over my severe lack of swimming beneath the sun:

(I realize the past particle of swim is “swum”, but for some reason it feels like a pretentious word to me??)

Anyway . . . as she herself is a fellow Pale Person, I find her surprise at my admission equally surprising. Girl, I’ll burn! It’s gonna be hotter than Georgia asphalt in southern Italy. But as long as someone is willing to paint SPF-50 zinc oxide all over my back for me, I’ll consider going in the water for 20 minutes . . .

Will the two Nicoles cross paths? I wonder. It’s fun to wonder at such things. What the hell else am I supposed to do, now that the world has placed a reticle upon my soul? I am living on borrowed time, having already cheated death twice already this year. More on that in a longer essay I’ll probably publish tomorrow.

Till then . . .

P.S. My friend Steph once said: “Your website is an endless love letter to all your friends.” And so saying, I wonder once again what I did to deserve such people. Nearly every good thing in my life was got through blind luck, which is true of many of my friendships. Historically I have fallen ass-backwards into them. Against all odds, we find each other out there in the wolfish world and just keep on knowing each other. You have to. Such is my tale. Often I feel a despair at my existence . . . but perhaps it is a sin to dwell in this state when I have been gifted with all the fine people in my orbit who continue to tolerate me year after year. How many people can say they know Two Cool Nicoles of Western and Central European bearing?? If friendship is the truest currency in life (it is), then I am swimming in a Scrooge McDuck vault of gold. Wow! I love it.

08 July 2026

Around this time four years ago, I hosted my good friend Bex and her eponymous band in Oakland during the West Coast leg of their tour. After their show with Chalk Talk at Stay Gold in West Oakland, I drove the band back to my fortified compound by Lake Merritt, made everyone little beds around my living room, tucked them in, and kissed their foreheads. Bex and I went back into my room and lay in my bed holding each other and talking for most of the night. It was very sweet . . .

In the morning, they had to leave for Los Angeles to do a gig in Glendale. Everyone was exhausted from having driven across the entire country to get to California, playing shows all along the way, and this being the final stretch . . . and so saying, having nothing better to do with my life, and being at least mildly suicidal on account of some things I ought not speak aloud, I offered to drive the car to LA to give everyone a break. The band unanimously agreed to it and so I went along. I made everyone breakfast (which included my Famous Smoothie . . .) and then we loaded everything in the car and got the hell out of there, heading south fast and white-knuckling it through the canyons to make it to the show on time . . .

I wrote about the whole saga back then if you’d like to read it . . .

I remember it got a lot of views. People from all over the world read it! I think maybe Bex and her band had reposted somewhere . . .

THOUGH YEAH . . .

Hey man, what can I say? July always reminds me of that little time in my life when Bex inadvertently rescued me from my own suffocating despair by giving me purpose and showing me affection. She was so kind and sweet to me. I badly needed it. We even sort of got engaged there for a little while??

She got that heart tag made at a Petco, by the way. I love it . . .

ANYWAY . . .

Years later, here in the Dark World, Bex and I both need saving this time, so we are going to save each other. And we’re going to save Nicole the Olivetti Girl as well, who in turn will also save us. We are all cracked about the head, and sadly need mending. And how do we plan to go about this? By renting a house in Tuscany and having a Long Weekend, of course . . .

WILL WE SUCCEED in saving ourselves . . . in saving each other? Of course we will. I have already visited the future and made sure. I won’t spoil it for you though.

UNTIL THEN . . .