she had said: “the castle is safer with ryan inside of it”

we’re famous at the karaoke bar . . .

i love gego . . .

Last night McCune (Irish-American) and I met up with Elina (Estonian) and Alina (Ukrainian) at Alter Roter in Neukölln to have A DRINK or TWO before heading to Kino Rollberg to see HALLOWEEN (1978), which neither of the ‘Linas had seen. Elina, who is terminally Gen Z, and thus only watches movies if I put one on, loved it. She had a kind of subtle religious experience you hope someone will have when you show them something cool. It made me feel a little better about The Dark Future . . .

Later, McCune said: “How do you know so many cool people?!” to which I replied: “I guess I’m just lucky that way!!”

. . . “I WANT TO LIVE” WAS SPUN FROM THE THREADS OF A SPIDERWEB. IT TAKES SO LITTLE, SO INFINITELY LITTLE, FOR SOMEONE TO FIND HIMSELF ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BORDER, WHERE EVERYTHING—LOVE, CONVICTIONS, FAITH, HISTORY—NO LONGER HAS MEANING. THE WHOLE MYSTERY OF HUMAN LIFE RESIDES IN THE FACT THAT IT IS SPENT IN THE IMMEDIATE PROXIMITY OF, AND EVEN IN DIRECT CONTACT WITH, THAT BORDER, THAT IT IS SEPARATED FROM IT NOT BY KILOMETERS BUT BY BARELY A MILLIMETER.

. . . IT TAKES SO LITTLE, A TINY PUFF OF AIR, FOR THINGS TO SHIFT IMPERCEPTIBLY, AND WHATEVER IT WAS THAT A MAN WAS READY TO LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR A FEW SECONDS EARLIER SEEMS SUDDENLY TO BE SHEER NONSENSE.

wow . . . it’s my girlfriend!

mccune comes to berlin

HE WANTS TO HAVE HIS WEBSITE SO THAT THE FLIMSY FRAMEWORK OF EVENTS, AS HE HAS CONSTRUCTED THEM IN HIS TEXT EDITOR, WILL BE PROVIDED WITH WALLS AND BECOME A HOUSE HE CAN LIVE IN. BECAUSE IF THE TOTTERING STRUCTURE OF HIS MEMORIES COLLAPSES LIKE A CLUMSILY PITCHED TENT, ALL THAT RYAN WILL BE LEFT WITH IS THE PRESENT, THAT INVISIBLE POINT, THAT NOTHINGNESS MOVING SLOWLY TOWARD DEATH.

in the year 2026, the best way to make someone disappear forever is to ask them if they want to hang out