i have a tv again

I used to watch Norm on Weekend Update every Saturday night as a kid. I’ve seen pretty much everything he’s ever made or been in since. Norm was a comedic genius who had no equal . . . truly one of God’s own prototypes. He was and still is a huge inspiration to me. I’ve been genuinely upset the last few days knowing that he’s gone now. Rest in peace brother.

a lot of the things i liked about my life and which made my life worth living are gone now. i’m not really sure what a person is supposed to do when that happens. i keep getting that strange facsimile / photocopy feeling whenever i do things i’ve always done . . . like i’m just performing an empty ritual out of habit alone. it sure doesn’t make you feel good to realize that about yourself

i have to say, it is pretty incredible that the 1% have not only made poor people hate themselves, but they’ve also made poor people hate other poor people. talk about a supreme victory for whatever utterly psychotic and horrifying endgame they’re working on behind the scenes while the rest of us peasants eat each other. bravo i guess!

listen: if you think you’re anything other than cannon fodder to the people in charge, it is a failure of your imagination. we are fish food. what a misery.

I went to New York City a few days before I returned to California. I had not been back to New York since before the pandemic began. I stayed with Monty near Ridgewood, and slept in our friend Noah’s bed while he was away in LA. And I managed to see Melody, Molly, Katie, and dear Tracey . . . who is soon to be a published novelist! I ate pizza and noodles and sat in parks and went to bars with my friends, and walked about ten miles a day. It was a good ol time.

The day I left, there was a big hurricane, Hurricane Ida, on its way to the coast. I took a bus from Hudson Yards down to DC just hours before it started to pour. The bus was freezing. On the New Jersey turnpike I felt exhausted and sad. I had not had that much human interaction in probably six months or more, and leaving it again made me feel rotten as hell.

I’ll be back soon enough . . . but for now I am in Northern California, where pretty much everyone I know lives, and I reckon I feel all right again. Tomorrow I will finally have an apartment, and then I can get a desk and a couch and a TV, and so on, and invite people over. Lord! It has been so long since I have been able to do that. . . .

Well: good-night! ☆彡

I was out walking one night last week, and I passed a yard and happened to glance over at it. In the shadows beyond the glow of the streetlight I saw three male deer lying in a perfect triangular pattern on the grass as if posed. I took these pictures. I used a long exposure, but in real life they were more difficult to see. I stood there on the street and watched them and they silently watched me too. By my reckoning I stood there for five solid minutes and none of us made any movement.

Truth is, I was a little stoned. So after I got down the street a bit, and being prone to such paranoia, I wondered if I had hallucinated them, and considered also that maybe they had been plastic lawn decorations. I could have sworn I saw them slightly turn their heads as I moved on, but then I couldn’t be sure. I figured I’d take the same path home and see if they were still there by the time I got back.

I returned about two hours later, and sure enough they were gone. For a lonely moment I had a delusion that maybe I really had imagined them, but then I remembered that I had photographic evidence to the contrary, and supposed that maybe I wasn’t crazy after all.

Well: I felt as though I had gazed into a secret world. Sometimes you get lucky and just so happen to bear witness to such a thing. It is not something you can ever anticipate happening, and when it does happen you get a surreal and dreamlike sort of feeling. They were no threat to me, and they knew I was no threat to them. We were just four dudes hanging out at night. It was cool little pocket of time. I’m glad I got to experience it with them.

we sure are having a difficult time sharing this planet huh lol

My friend BEX came to visit me before I left the East Coast. We got Thai food and drove around drinking coffee at night. In the morning, she drove me to DC where I hopped on a bus to New York City just days before the hurricane hit.

She says she will come stay with me in California in October. Seeya then, punk!!