I was sick all weekend. I slept on the couch and watched a bunch of movies. It was cold and I wore thermal underwear. It ruled.

Last night, feeling insane, I drove to Lake Merritt and bought a bottle of cough syrup and took a few swigs and then went to Grand Lake Theater and saw ‘Blade Runner 2049’ again. Just like last time, I experienced a godawful crowd. I had thought there would be no one there, but instead I sat in the row in front of a guy who whispered this to his justifiably bored girlfriend: “The original film is considered a cult classic in the sci-fi genre.” Give me a fuckin break, dude.

I have to mention that there was also a serial farter. He had his legs propped up near the front of the theater and he was machine-gun blasting out these gut-quaking farts during EVERY QUIET AND / OR EMOTIONAL SCENE. His friend also laughed or went “PFFFT!” or “C’MON!” every time he couldn’t suspend his disbelief and empathize with a fictional character on the huge screen in front of him.

Some time ago, never mind how long precisely, I saw ‘No Country For Old Men’ (whoops, guess now you know it was 10 years ago) in a Roppongi Hills movie theater in Tokyo. I had never seen a movie in Japan before. There were assigned seats and everyone quietly shuffled into the theater and sat down. They were silent the entire time. Everyone stayed and watched the credits. When the lights came on, they filed out with their garbage in their hands. We exited the theater and everyone used a trashcan to discard their popcorn buckets and beer cups and so on. I thought, “Holy hell dude!!!” I guess I have always remembered that day because I saw the world for what it could be (lol) if only it were beautiful (lol). Meanwhile, years later, on the other side of the Pacific, I am still surrounded by gurgling idiots with questionable pre-movie dinner choices!!!

ANYWAY: The movie ruled. ZAK “DELICIOUS” MCCUNE, my starbrother, had told me it was quote-unquote imperative I see it twice . . . and yeah! It sure is! I was gonna anyway. I’m glad I did.

Go see it! I was balls-deep in a cough syrup fever dream the whole time. ‘Blade Runner 2049’ is more or less a cough syrup fever dream. I was doubly disposed. I was melted plastic, dude. God was it great. I won’t advocate drinking cough syrup recreationally just to have yourself a good ol time in a movie theater . . . but maybe also I just did??