I don’t miss what used to happen so much as I miss the mind I had when it was happening

If it were somehow possible to move into a cabin somewhere remote in Virginia with my father I would do that and stay there for the rest of my life

Sometimes I think, well, if my life flames out and I lose everything and and I reckon there isn’t much waiting for me in the future, I’ll move to Los Angeles and be stupid for the rest of my life. I’ll bet that would be real neat. Hazy and dumb forever and ever.

God, I just want to sit on the floor and not have anyone yell at me or tell me what to do for ten god damn minutes

(P.S. If you thought the person who wrote this was thirteen years old I wouldn’t blame you!!!!!)

Whenever I see a job listing containing the phrase “detail oriented” I want to give up and hang myself

My friends!

Seriously, life on earth could be so much worse

What if saber-toothed tigers still existed or some shit

Just a couple of creeps drinking coffee in the beautiful city of Oakland, California

(Thanks Laura!!!!)

It gets dark at 4:30 p.m. Hell, it’s even cold outside.

And now it is 4:15 a.m. and the rooster is confused. He’s crowing somewhere nearby. In his brain it is 5:15 a.m. and who am I to say the poor bastard is wrong.

Here’s a weird admission: I would never date anyone I actually cared about

(At least not anymore)