That’s John McCauley and his new baby—and he’s wearing a T-shirt I gave him in Providence two years ago

The thought I have more than any other is “man, who the fuck knows”

Every time I watch ‘The Master,’ and I get to the part where Amy Adams says to Joaquin Phoenix, “You can’t take this life straight, can you?” I answer for him (and myself (lol)) and say: “Nope!”

I’m an idiot

I wish I could have Jesus’ old gig: going on adventures with my bros, talking to misfits and weirdos and helping them with their problems, saying cool stuff to people who need to hear cool stuff

Here is a very short autobiography I just wrote while brushing my teeth:

“All my life, I’ve just been walkin around lookin at stuff.”

The end!!!

Yesterday around 5:30 a.m. I was ripping across the Bay Bridge on my way to San Francisco to deliver fresh donies, and I had ‘Gimme Danger’ on, and Iggy Pop said, “There’s nothing in my dreams / just some ugly memories.”

Aloud, to no one, I said, “Yeah.”

Scenes from THE GREAT PIZZA HEIST (2015), written and directed by Dan Tabár

Starring
TIM “T-BONE” ROGERS
RYAN “STARBABY” STARSAILOR
and introducing
MICHAEL “SWAMP FRIEND” KERWIN

In theaters never!!!!!!!!!!!