This is not some sort of whimsical joke, this is the truth:

I only leave the house when I run out of eggs and coconut milk

My good buddy / roommate Tracey Lien was mugged by three teenagers a block from our house last week, so today my other good buddy Brandon Sheffield delivered this cake to her

why do i get this gross feeling that everyone is transforming (is being transformed?) into a brand whether they mean to or not

I wrote a new Gritt Calhoon story. It is, I guess, a novella.

If you want to read it: here it is, man.

Listen: it is incredibly dumb. I’m probably going to be arrested because I wrote this trash. But for now: it’s online, it’s big, it’s beautiful, it’s hideous, and it’s all yours if ya want it.

Good-night, jerx!!!

This is the story of how two beautiful white people got everything they ever wanted

“I work in the tech industry.”

“Oh. Uhh. Please get away from me then.”

oh so you’re an artist

I always keep a liter of water next to my bed

I think this is the smartest thing I’ve ever figured out for myself

thanks hali