You know what is a strange thing? I don’t even enjoy seeing things my friends post on the internet. In fact I actively avoid all of it. In addition to wanting as little noise in my life as possible, I don’t have accounts on any websites for this reason.

I am writing this because this thought just occurred to me. Or I guess it cemented itself and became real inside my brain.

It bums me out. I don’t know why. Maybe seeing the things they put up reminds me that I am not with them. It certainly doesn’t comfort me at all. That is what letters in the mail are for.

I miss my father, and my grandmother. I miss Leila. I miss people I used to know who are dead and I miss Virginia.

Tonight I watched cancerous human-shaped bags of sawdust stare on with unintelligent eyes and when I looked into them I saw terrible things. It was my job to make them leave and while I hated the way they were I could not bring myself to hate them as people.

I do not know what it is that makes men evil. There is no evil in my heart, I know that much.

RYAN STARSAILOR
☆彡
1988–2019
‘WHO COULD BLAME HIM’

Sometimes I get drunk and I feel a great pity for every human who has ever endured being human.

Hah! I really am a rotten bastard!!

Life as she saw it was quite simple. You wanted a good time; “they,” meaning the Party, wanted to stop you having it; you broke the rules as best you could.

(1984)

Here is my review of Mad Max: Fury Road: Yup.

(I have written some longer things recently. I believe I will post them tomorrow.)

Oh, my God! It is exhausting to share this body with the Mr. Hyde version of myself!

Been watching some quote unquote contemporary movies recently

And uh, man, I cannot shake the strange sensation that I am just watching millionaires pretend to do stuff in a green room

I feel like I am currently living inside the made-for-TV version of my life.