. . . then we are cursed, cursed again and like we have been continually, and we’ll wind up dead this way, knowing very little and getting that little fragment wrong too!!!

five years ago i lived in a big victorian house in west oakland with my best friends

and i worked at a little donut shop, and drove around in an old police car, and went down to LA every month, and dropped acid and walked around at night, and gave my phone number to friendly strangers, and dated this cool girl who ended up disappearing. . . .

mccune and i hung out every single day, and we had our friends here, back before they all left, and on and on. . . .

well! it’s all gone. my life is still the same except i am more alone with it all. everyone has gone away, and it’s just me doing these things now. it had to end, and it did . . . but i still miss that place in time and space, and often i dream about being there again. that was the best era of my whole life. everything since then has been borrowed time i never asked for in the first place

oh well

what else can you do except get further away from it. if there’s an alternative i’m sure i don’t know what it is.

me too dude

sometimes the little angels in my life are people who i know from the internet who i’ve only met once, and sometimes not at all

my best friend

Whoa! BORIS, who are one of my favorite bands, are touring the US and stopping at all these weird places along the way. Well: Apparently they stopped at the big-ass Buc-ee’s mega convenience store in New Braunfels, which is between Austin and San Antonio. When I lived in Texas I went there many times. That place rules a lot.

Anyway here are some pictures of my girlfriend Wata there:

lol cool

me

miss y’all

Y’all: I’m fine. Every time I disable a certain PHOTO- and VIDEO-SHARING platform, everyone assumes I’m dead. Listen, sometimes you just got to flip the lights off on that stuff, and lay low. I am laying low because I have to make as much money as soon as possible, and I can’t rightly do that when I’m seeing the lives of others through a glass darkly on the world wide web, when I can scarcely see my own. And why do I need money? Everybody needs money—that’s why they call it money. Among many reasons, it’s mostly because I got to get out of town and go to London to see Sirengirl, and then to Berlin to see my friend Jess, and so on. I think I’m going to take Lufthansa for the first time. Man apparently it’s pretty nice. Yeah. Why not.

I have been pulling things out of my closet and taking pictures of them to entice other people to buy them. I am selling as much as I can until I have only what I need. I’m getting pretty close! And I am for real going to sell my car this time, much as I love that god dang thing. Really I haven’t driven it in a month . . . I’ve been walking everywhere, especially at night, going all over the place. I checked the other day and I’ve been walking seven or eight miles a day . . . sometimes more. Really that’s not even that much! If you ever show up somewhere and tell someone you walked there, they say something like, “Oh my god! That’s like two miles!” Y’all, two miles is baby stuff. C’mon. You can walk two miles like half an hour, for god’s sake.

And what else? I have been reading and writing. I have been alone with Dante. I’m having me a good ol time over here, when you really get down to it. I spent the last six months hanging out with people nonstop. Soon I will go back to that, because that is what comprises most of my life: being friends with people, and being around them as often as possible. But for now I got this thing going on, and it is very good in a different way.

So:

Sirenlady: Watch that mailbox.

Katrijn: I wrote you a longish email today. I will send it tomorrow afternoon.

Tombo: My faithful child, I will see you at DUDES DONE WRONG this Thursday, if not sooner. Bless your heart, you always show up.

Alayna: Let’s freakin do something in the next few days.

Speaking of days: I had a really nice day today. I didn’t speak to a single other human being . . . I just spoke to Dante. We went outside and took naps and I held him while I watched a movie. Here are two cute pictures of him I took:

Also, this post was brought to you by Rei Harakami’s COLORS OF THE DARK:

Rest in peace, dude.

Anyway: I guess I’m going to go to sleep!!