i feel a foreboding. i don’t like it!

“and stay down!” (1998)
charles keegan

probably the only truly improbable part about EYES WIDE SHUT —  which is a christmas movie, and which i love a lot —  is that weed would make someone aggressive lol

see the lonely boy out on the weekend trying to make it pay

can’t relate to joy he tries to speak and can’t begin to say

my good friend alayna took this picture of me beneath the half moon in berkeley, california during one of our walks last year. she sent it to me last sunday on the night of the full moon

i was here in portland cat-sitting my nephew bilbo . . . i saw the full moon through the fog above the city. being here is making me feel a little sad on account of i once spent a long sad year here, and am reminded of that year. on friday i take a bus up to seattle to see jackson, and then i’ll drive to vancouver to see cera in her natural habitat before heading back down to oakland to spend christmas with the mccunes~

“Oh! thou clear spirit of clear fire, whom on these seas I as Persian once did worship, till in the sacramental act so burned by thee, that to this hour I bear the scar; I now know thee, thou clear spirit, and I now know that thy right worship is defiance. To neither love nor reverence wilt thou be kind; and e’en for hate thou canst but kill; and all are killed. No fearless fool now fronts thee. I own thy speechless, placeless power; but to the last gasp of my earthquake life will dispute unconditional, unintegral mastery in me. In the midst of the personified impersonal, a personality stands here. Though but a point at best; whenceso’er I came; whereso’er I go; yet while I earthly live, the queenly personality lives in me, and feels her royal rights. But war is pain, and hate is woe. Come in thy lowest form of love, and I will kneel and kiss thee; but at thy highest, come as mere supernal power; and though thou launchest navies of full-freighted worlds, there’s that in here that still remains indifferent. Oh, thou clear spirit, of thy fire thou madest me, and like a true child of fire, I breathe it back to thee.”

moby-dick of course

11 december 2024
berkeley, california

i miss norm macdonald. he was a cool dude. i think about what he said often. i agree with every word

i don’t understand it when people don’t like christmas. christmas rules