thankful though i am for amissa and cera keeping me in line with what i would charitably describe as “tough love”, i am grateful this group chat contains only two people in addition to myself or else i wouldn’t survive a single day lol

shinichi sakamoto

had a weird night alone spooked up on mulholland drive and venice beach

my nieces georgia and peach

From my friend Shannon, never seen this picture before . . . Point Reyes, winter 2022 . . . thank you to Nora for suggesting I resemble my hero Warren Beatty to whom I could never compare~

Saw THE KING at Squaresville in Los Feliz . . . I was on duty trying to help Cera pick out a dress for a wedding she’s going to in New Orleans. Naturally, everything I suggested was shot down immediately because I dress like a cartoon character and have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about when it comes to women’s clothing (or anything for that matter).

TONIGHT . . .

. . . my two evil sisters, Amissa and Cera—who are also my principle haters and the sole members of the RYAN HATER’S CLUB group chat—accompanied me to Griffith Park Observatory to help me film whatever it is I’m making. Mostly they made fun of me and told me I’m an idiot, which was to be expected.

ANYWAY . . .

. . . we got about an hour of footage. It’s straight up some Terrence Malick ass footage, but I think I know what I’m going to do with it. Uh, hopefully . . .

We also visited my old friend James Dean:

. . . and then drove back down the hill to

PURCHASE MARIJUANA

and drop off Amissa at her place. Cera and I headed back to her bungalow with Cera in low spirits. I did my best to cheer up my dear sister, but there’s only so much you can do to comfort someone suffering from her particular malady, which is heartsickness. Been there. It is a certain kind of hell . . . a fate worse than death even. Now she is sprawled out on the couch smoking a joint and doing a Korean facemask and bracing herself for what she predicts will be an especially bad period. I’m sitting on the floor with my laptop and I think maybe I’ll get up and utilize Cera’s $800 espresso machine. I’m going to drink coffee at midnight like a psycho . . .

TOMORROW . . .

. . . I think I will drive my rental car to Santa Monica / Venice Beach and film there. Hey, why not. On Thursday I’ll head up to the Bay Area for about ten days to visit all the angels I know there, and then head back to New York to FACE THE MUSIC. Yeah . . .

Cera caught a monarch butterfly mere seconds before we had to rush inside her little bungalow to film Her Segment for The Thing I’m Making!!

cera’s fridge