Yesterday I was sitting at my desk, and this cool dude I work with came in and quoted ‘Moby-Dick’ for some reason . . . I can’t remember the context. And I said, “Whoa baby! Hold up!” and reached into my bag and pulled out my copy.

He said a thing I was not expecting him to say, which was: “Squeeze! Squeeze! Squeeze!”

To which I replied: “. . . let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness!!!”

We were quoting, in a room full of other poor confused souls, that part in ‘Moby-Dick’ when Ishmael talks about squeezing whale sperm out of globules taken from a conquered whale:

Squeeze! squeeze! squeeze! all the morning long; I squeezed that sperm till I myself almost melted into it; I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me; and I found myself unwittingly squeezing my co-laborers’ hands in it, mistaking their hands for the gentle globules. Such an abounding, affectionate, friendly, loving feeling did this avocation beget; that at last I was continually squeezing their hands, and looking up into their eyes sentimentally; as much as to say,—Oh! my dear fellow beings, why should we longer cherish any social acerbities, or know the slightest ill-humor or envy! Come; let us squeeze hands all round; nay, let us all squeeze ourselves into each other; let us squeeze ourselves universally into the very milk and sperm of kindness.

Dude, yes. That passage is so cute. He’s so happy he starts squeezing his shipmates’ hands in a big vat of sperm!!!! God that’s gross and beautiful. I honestly love it a lot.

And what’s nuts is that I had just finished the chapter the night before. It’s one of my favorite parts!!!!

This book, dude. Jesus Lord in Heaven, this book.