I spent a few days in New Orleans with Leila at her new house . . . I had not been back since September 2023, and before that since December 2015. Last time I was here, it was a sort of struggle to have a good time on account of things that are not worth mentioning, and which were outside Leila’s control. But this time it was just the three of us (including her cat Susu), and so we had a very good time indeed.

As for me, I am tormented with an everlasting itch for things remote. I love to sail forbidden seas, and land on barbarous coasts. So don’t get me wrong . . . I love going to new places and seeing what it’s all about. But there is a comfort to visiting a place you know well, as there is no special hurry to cram in as much adventure and sightseeing in a small amount of time. New Orleans is a city I know. And so saying, it was nice to just Hang Out and watch movies and smoke in the backyard and have a bonfire and eat at the same breakfast place every morning. The point was simply to be with Leila and Susu . . . anything else was a little bonus. I was sad to leave New Orleans yesterday . . . I’m hip about time but I just had to go. I got places to be and a hard deadline to be in the Bay Area by October 10th. However: I will return again soon, if for no other reason than to soothe Susu’s broken little heart:

Now I am in Austin where I lived many years ago now. I haven’t seen much of Austin since I left in 2013 . . . only a handful of times, and the last time being September 2023 when I left for New Orleans. Or had I come from New Orleans? It filled me with sorrow to see it then as so much of it had been literally razed to the ground and replaced with total bullshit. I feel the same way now as I did two years ago: that I recognize the city just enough to feel sentimental, and to remember my life here, which may as well have been 100 years and ten Ryans ago, only to feel the dark wave come crashing down on it all when I realize that’s all long gone in the forever sense. It leaves a bad dream feeling in my mind . . . a ghostly sort of déjà vu I only ever experience in nightmares.

I only came to Texas for one reason, and it’s a good reason: to see my old friend Colette, whom I had not seen since 2018, and 2013 before that. In that sense it was completely worth it. Colette is such a good person, and was always such a good friend to me. A long time ago I did her wrong, and she was merciful enough to forgive me. Being with her again feels exactly the same as it did when I knew her all those years ago when I would visit Texas, and when I eventually moved here . . . we even briefly lived together. Colette is the lone holdout in Austin, as everyone else I ever knew here has been gone for years. Just like in New Orleans, I don’t particularly need to see Austin. It is enough to be here to spend time with Colette. All we’ve done is talk and go on walks and earlier we saw that new PTA movie . . . I’ve had a real good time!

Tomorrow morning Colette is driving me to the rental place downtown to pick up what I hope will be a small inconspicuous fuel-efficient Japanese sedan made in the last two years. I want something that gets 45–50 miles per gallon on the highway and has a USB-C input. Is that really asking so much? Once I have procured The Car, I will drive 700 miles through the wasteland between here and Albuquerque to get to my friend Mikaylah’s house, which I am told is cute and pink and close to the airport. Perfect.

I end many of my late-night posts here saying “I really ought to sleep”—and so too shall I end this one THUSLY, as it is true. I have a long-ass day ahead of me but I am excited about it. Listen: I love rolling around. Next to people it’s the most fun I have here upon this cursed planet. I’ll write more from The Road . . . perhaps I will take a break in Lubbock before I white-knuckle it straight across the border into New Mexico. I got a few postcards to mail so I reckon I’ll take a piss there and find a postbox. Hey baby, why not . . .