I recently had a strange experience where an ex-girlfriend said essentially this same thing to me, and I responded essentially the same way . . . only afterward did I realize it! And I remembered we had watched INHERENT VICE twice (INHERENT TWICE) that summer we dated, so it made sense in a way. We basically were Shasta and Doc! Maybe that had crept into her mind.

There is a reason I was ALWAYS TRUE. It was not an accident.

I told her that a long time ago now, she had permanently changed something in me that I ought not articulate here. But it’s true. I knew it was happening while it was happening. Yet for some reason I had never told her that before. I reckoned that if someone pushed me into the U-bahn tracks tomorrow, I’d go to the grave without her ever knowing what she had done to me (you know, in a good way!), and so I told her. I have wondered what that felt like. Maybe it was a heavy thing to lay on someone. But I don’t expect anything in return, or any particular reaction. That isn’t the point. It is just enough that she knows.

Yeah, that too . . .

*extinguishes a cigarette in a cup of lukewarm coffee*