He rose to his feet, looked around him in astonishment as though he were wondering how he had got there . . . He was pale, his eyes were burning, he was suffering from exhaustion in every limb, but suddenly his breathing seemed to grow easier. He felt now that he had thrown off that terrible burden which had been weighing him down for so long, and his soul began suddenly to experience a sense of lightness and peace. ‘O Lord,’ he prayed, ‘show me my path, and I will renounce this accursed . . . dream of mine!’

. . . sounds exactly like me to be honest lol