Last summer I housed my friend Bex and her eponymous band when they were passing through Oakland to play a show there. And then the next morning I spontaneously drove them down to Los Angeles to get to their next gig. I even wrote a whole thing about it, because of course I did.

In it, I reveal one of my nicknames:

. . . I went in through the back door of the venue, dimly lit and sparsely populated, and asked THE BAND if they wanted coffee too, and received a unanimous “yes” . . . and so saying I grabbed Maddie and we got to moving, and walked four or five blocks up the wide boulevard toward a Peet’s Coffee, which you can never seem to escape in California. The sun was setting and all I wanted to do was suck down a 16-ounce black Americano in the company of the little angels I had come there with.

As a way of (secretly) thanking these same angels for granting me a temporary reprieve from the damp, drizzly November in my soul, what with their having let me bum along with them, I bought everyone coffee . . . and when the barista asked for my name, I of course gave her the name which I am known by in some circles, being—

☆ HOLLYWOOD RYAN ☆

(lol)

Before Bex went on, Maddie the bassist and I were hanging out in the green room drinking our aforementioned coffees. Bex and them were touring the West Coast with this band called Chalk Talk, and they just so happened to come into the green room and hang out with us too. I introduced myself as “Hollywood Ryan”—implying I was a celebrated personality in the city of Los Angeles. I ended up befriending them right then and there. I love em. They’re great!

Anyway, because I’m an insufferable dork, I gotta put this somewhere.

See, their friend Rory was there at the LA show, and I met her too. She’s cool as hell. She’s also in the Chalk Talk group chat. As it happens, she makes shirts. To wit:

And, HEY PRESTO, this happened:

AND THEN THIS HAPPENED (hopefully no one cares that I’m posting this (lol)):

:,)

Rory made me a custom silver and gold I 💛 Hollywood Ryan print on a black shirt, cuz come on. I reckon uhhh either Stella or Nina will bring it with them to Berlin in July. I’LL KEEP YOU POSTED.

I’m stupid. I’m a dumb jerk. I’m a T-shirt! And now . . . good-night!!! ☆彡