I know you all know (and hate) this, but one of my favorite things to do when I’m at a party or whatever is to introduce myself like “How’s it going? I’m Ryan. I’m a famous person.” I really need to make new business cards that say FAMOUS PERSON on them . . . right now I only have PRIVATE INQUIRY AGENT and PARAPSYCHOLOGIST (lol)~

(P.S. Before my inbox is flooded with haters screaming at me for omitting shredded beets and sliced European cucumbers from my purple falafel sandwich . . . the computer wouldn’t let me add them! It’s not my fault!!)