For anyone out there who is curious, here are the results of my most recent STD test:
I do not have chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis C, nor HIV.
Yeah . . . all quiet on the Southern Front . . .
okgoodnight ☆彡
ADDENDUM:
In August 2024, I received an email from a stranger who had found this post by reverse image searching an image of a clean STD test. He said he was doing some detective work on behalf of a friend, who had requested that their new lover show them a negative test before they entered into a Sexual Relationship. This new lover had given the inquiring party the very image you see posted above (which I have now weirdly had to watermark). The stranger who emailed me was suspicious that their search had resulted in finding an identical, pixel-perfect image which had no lab, doctor, or patient information, and had thus concluded that such a coincidence was insanely improbable. Wanting to protect his friend and out this duplicitous individual, the stranger asked for my help in vindicating his hunch. Because I had personally spliced my test results in Photoshop to fit neatly into a post on my website, I told him that yes, with 100% certainty, this person had ripped off my test and had passed it off as their own.
I immediately realized why this post had been getting so much traffic from people all over the world since I’d put it up in December. See here:
. . . because they had all searched for a negative STD test, presumably to quell the fears of whomever had asked them for one. Whoa! Well, it goes without saying that this is real gross and unethical, not to mention beginning a relationship with deception is inauspicious to say the least. Just get your own STD test! And if you do have something, get it taken care of! You freaks!!
Though yeah: Thanks for making me feel like a huge dork by having to watermark an STD test. I never thought I’d have to do that. It’s just that I don’t want to accidentally be vaguely responsible for someone ending up with the clap. OK?
