“words” / phrases / sentences i am tired of hearing:

• “meh”
• “ownage”
• “sick”
• “rad”
• “stoked”
• “that [totally pedestrian not-epic thing] is so epic”
• “killin it, dude”
• “crushin it, dude”
• “killed it, dude”
• “crushed it, dude”
• “that [blank] is on point, dude”
• “beyonce is my spirit animal”
• “[inanimate object / food item / celebrity] is my spirit animal”
• “[anything] is my spirit animal”
• “netflix and chill”
• “that [blank] is hella tight”
• “that’s trill”
• “[meme reference]”
• “[meme comprised of human scenario a lot of people relate to followed by stock photo / picture of celebrity / scene from a ’90s movie]”
• “bacon is awesome”
• “i just got this t-shirt that has a [cartoon alien head / pentagram / piece of bacon and/or pizza] on it”
• “i prefer IPAs”
• “i think you’re just smoking the wrong strain”
• “that [blank] tho”
• “dat [blank] doe”
• “bae”
• “when bae [something] but u [something else]”
• “when bae [anything]”
• “it’s not humid, it’s like a dry heat”
• “i don’t know, i just prefer iphones”
• “i don’t know, i just prefer androids”
• “[opinion on computer / mobile operating system]”
• “i read on [npr / buzzfeed / slate / huffington post] that [word-for-word regurgitation of article]”
• “oh my god have you seen that youtube video [that has 400 million views]”
• “i don’t know, i just think [opinion on celebrity’s personal life]”
• “[celebrity] would never do that”
• “i think religion is stupid, but “
• “i’m not religious but i am spiritual”
• “isn’t it crazy how we’re all made of starstuff?”
• “it’s like nietzsche said: [something nietzsche said]”
• “are you good at networking?”
• “do you have a linkedin profile?”
• “well it helps if you have a linkedin profile”
• “[opinion on popular television show]”
• “[a room full of people quoting the same movie / television show]”
• “[argument about if the beatles’ were really influential to music]”
• “[conversation about ‘the singularity’]”
• “[conversation about what smoking marijuana is like]”
• “[conversation about tattoos someone wants to get in the future]”
• “[conversation about what ‘hipster’ actually means]”
• “[conversation about politics]”
• “[conversation about dietary restrictions]”
• “[conversation about international situation that everyone heard about on npr and has the same two-sentence depth of knowledge on]”
• “[anything involving sports]”
• “[object / restaurant / coffee shop / abstract concept] is so hipster”
• “[person] is such a hipster”
• “oh i don’t know, i think [awful thing about the 21st century] is way better than [quantifiably superior old way of doing something]”
• “all i’m saying is, you’d better vote for [political candidate no one cared about six months ago]”
• (after hearing you make a joke you yourself came up with) “wait what’s that from again?”

(to be continued (oh no))

(((please note: i don’t necessarily blame people for saying this stuff. it’s just that everyone is being exposed to the same exact things, and so it’s starting to feel like a god darn echo chamber where no one has any original thoughts of their own anymore. i have heard people say almost all of these things verbatim a million times at this point. just say something new!!!)))