once, long ago, my good friend neil smith was showing me his newest tattoo, which was on his chest. (i forget what it was.)

anyway: while he had his shirt up i noticed another tattoo on his ribcage. it was faded and probably a decade old. it was a penguin with a pumpkin on its head staring at a bowling pin. the penguin was sad. there was a broken heart above the pumpkin.

i said, “neil, i don’t mean to be the sort of person who asks what a tattoo means, but what the hell is that?”

and neil, god love him, laughed and said: “clearly you’ve never done PCP.”