06 January 2014

I came home from work and found a bunch of people in my bedroom

The whole day I had been thinking, “Man, I just need to get to my bedroom and be alone and maybe cry”

And when I say “cry” I don’t mean “have an emotional moment”—I mean cry in the same way people sneeze or exhale sharply or masturbate or scream at the sky

I’m talking about a biological necessity

It was building up and it had to come out of me in the form of liquid pouring from my face

But then all these people were in my bedroom

So I went out walking and stared at the ground so I wouldn’t have to explain myself to anyone

After a few blocks I realized I had absolutely nowhere to go

I tried crying and couldn’t

I walked home and stood in the kitchen and continued to not cry