When I returned to California, I had several packages and letters waiting for me in my room.

Amy Ribar in Los Angeles sent me a San Diego bottle opener in a shiny blue envelope. She told me to stay out of San Diego because it’s “full of Christians.” On the back she told me to go out there and keep kissing people.

Kate Giffin in Halifax sent me 6,000 Chinese Yuan and told me she was glad I was her friend. The envelope was covered in Winnie the Pooh stickers. She told me to listen to ‘Jesus Is Waiting’ by Al Green immediately and I did so.

She sent me a postcard too. It is a picture of Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia. On the reverse side she wrote out the lyrics to ‘4 + 20’. Her handwriting is so similar to my old girlfriend’s handwriting that I almost threw up.

Jack Fields, the puppeteer in Winter Park, sent me a tank top he designed. On it is a horrifying drawing he did of Colton Burpo, the kid who claimed he went to heaven. It’s amazing. There was a little post-it note inside with a waving cat. It says “Hagn in there bro”.

Laura, who shares a wall with me, gave me a drawing she had made for me. It’s a shooting star.

Man, yeah. I know a whole bunch of good people.