I’ve brought this up before, but I hope you realize that most of the things you read on the internet (or, hell, anywhere) are polished and bleached and sanitized. Everything is Safe and Easy and Painless. It’s pretty gross! I just wanted to remind you once again that, for good or ill (probably mostly for ill), I don’t do that. I’m not trying to sell you anything—not a vacuum cleaner, not aluminum siding, not even an ideology! Most of the time I don’t even know what I’m saying, to be honest.

I mean, seriously, look at all the trash I’ve published on the internet. It has made me absolutely unemployable and undateable. And I don’t even care! Sometimes I reread the stuff I write in the middle of the night, and I cringe a little, but I let it be. It was real when I hit “publish,” so that’s how it’s gotta be.

I do it for you, baby!!!