On Monday mornings I wake up at 4 a.m. and deliver donuts all around the Bay Area. I go to Oakland, Berkeley, Albany, San Mateo, Palo Alto, and Cupertino. It’s real cool. I listen to dad jazz and talk to cute baristas and get free coffee all day.

My first stop in San Francisco is the Ferry Building where we have a donut kiosk. Last Monday, after I unloaded all the boxes, I went into the restroom there and used one of the urinals. All the stalls were occupied, and there was this awkward middle-aged guy just standing nearby, presumably waiting to use one of them.

I thought, “Well, if ‘waiting for some other guy to finish taking a dump so you can take a dump’ isn’t a great big metaphor for life on Earth, I don’t know what is.”