14 January 2016

this world just ain’t gotta let me out of its jaws until it has completely crushed me into a pulpy mass of once-was, huh.

man! i don’t take things personally when it comes to the indifferent universe and all its chaos, because they don’t give a shit at all, and god love them for it—but i can’t help but take it personally when a human shreds me like newspaper for no good reason. you really do have to navigate this place knowing that there’s no reward waiting for you at the red light. you have to do good and thoughtful things for your own sake, to keep your own sanity, because as long as i have been here i have known that you will almost never be afforded the same courtesy. i have so many holes in my history and they all wear human faces. i miss those faces. as selfish as it sounds i can’t help but wonder if i’m a ryan-faced hole to someone else. and do they miss me too?