JUST GOING TO GO AHEAD AND SAY IT
SINCE I AM ABOUT TO NUKE THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE:
If you are over the age of fifteen (15) and you still care about:
- your birthday
- Valentine’s Day
you are a chump. Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!
(Laura R. is exempt from both of these, and exempt from everything in fact, because she gets excited about giving and receiving presents and flowers and baked goods—and her eternal optimism in the face of the crushing machinery of existence is the most pure and beautiful thing there ever was.)
((Also, in the case of the aforementioned list, I was referring to the sort of perfunctory well-everyone-else-pretends-to-care-so-I-guess-I-do-too way of looking at it . . . which is an invisible human mind-poison that infects nearly every tangible object and abstract concept you can possibly imagine!!!))