I don’t know if y’all know this but I have a bunch of scars on my face. Like six of them! Some of them are pretty deep. Mostly I don’t know how I got them. Anyway they don’t bother me one bit, and also I am one step closer to fulfilling my childhood dream of becoming the gambler / rogue / ladies’ man Setzer from ‘Final Fantasy 6,’ who, yes, has a bunch of scars on his face because why the heck not:


Um he also looks like this:



God hell yeah! Look at those scars! I got me a few of those. Those scars, baby. Those scars.

Anyway: I have a sort of movie villain scar on my brow. It is thick and vertical. One night about a year ago I was drunk as hell watching ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ and it was very dark and I got up to get some water and slammed my face into a doorframe. My skin split wide open. It was nuts. I’ve never had anything bleed that badly. It was gushing out and running down my face. I even documented the scene that was on when this occurred, which I guess also sums up how I felt:


And this is what it looked like the next morning when I was delivering donuts all over the Bay Area:

Screen Shot 2016-01-15 at 15.42.44

Yeah baby come and get it!!!!!!!