i wrote a new DEAD TYMES article

i have a long list of headlines that i need to write articles for:

  • Crazed Trillionaire Holds Moon Hostage
  • “Future Corpse Identification Program” Shot Down at Congressional Hearing
  • Deceased Man’s Closet Filled With Literal Skeletons
  • Volcanic Ash Snowmen Latest Craze After Catastrophic Fuji Eruption
  • Sheriff Issues Grim Warning to Ukulele Owners
  • Last Remaining Electric Car Used to Power Human Hot Dog Factory
  • Doomsday Cult Calls It Quits
  • Local Man Stuck at Red Light For Two Decades
  • Lobster Halfbreed Gives Tour of Meat Locker
  • Construction Crew Discovers Crypt Filled With Skeletons Wearing Santa Claus Costumes
  • Declaration of Independence Mistaken For Weird Old Toilet Paper
  • Archeologists Unearth Warhead Filled With Vintage Playboy Magazines
  • Recent Earthquakes Linked to Satan Laughing From Deep Within Dead Earth’s Core
  • Every Organism on Earth Added to Endangered Species List
  • Winter Olympics To Be Held on Planet NASCAR
  • Bionic Arm Malfunctions, Strangles Inventor To Death
  • UFO Crashes Into Church of Scientology Headquarters
  • Mars Terraforming Initiative Thwarted By Doomsday Cult
  • Former Child Star Spotted Roaming Wasteland

anyone want to take a few of these?

email me

PLEASE NOTE!!!! i am really picky about these things

so i might not use something you write ;-/

i’m sorry!!! ;-/!!!!