Man, I tell you what, I would share my bed with any of my friends. I like sleeping next to Cool People.

(I have a really nice mattress that I bought on my twenty-sixth birthday and it sure is thick as hell. Before I got it I don’t think I had slept well in maybe two years.)

Anyway: if you feel rotten as hell or feel all right or . . . feel any way at all, really, other than nauseous, come on over and sleep three feet away from me if that’s what you want to do.

(Should I compile a list of people who have slept next to me and make it a page on this website? No— I should probably not do that. God, no. (Hmmmm~~ maybe.))