Oh my god everything is so stupid and bad that I can barely stand it. Also I’m hungry and I don’t have any food and can’t afford to buy food.

I sleep diagonally under a quilt on a queen mattress which rests on the floor. I don’t use a pillow. I can’t sleep unless I take something to make me sleep. I haven’t woken up before noon on my own in over a year. No one I’ve known for more than a few days has kissed me in months.

It would be so great if I didn’t have to wake up and be myself tomorrow.

. . . or anyone else, either!

I’ve watched ‘True Detective’ in its entirety three times in the last month, and you know, there’s a whole bunch of stuff Rust says that I hear and think “Yup, I’ve thought that my whole life”

Zak and Laura and I were watching it earlier tonight and there’s a scene where Rust says something like “I don’t even want to know anything anymore” and I was like yeah dude me neither

Now that the fun is over—and I really do think it’s over for good—all that’s left to do is endure the scary stuff


This hangs above my desk—hangs above the place from which I write to you now! It is made up of things people send me and places I’ve been and so on. Also there’s a picture of my badass dad.

This is becoming a huge issue: I have no idea if the train whistle I’m hearing is actually real

I took a melatonin an hour ago and now I am about to go to a very dark place