Laura took this in our garden the other day and I think it’s great!!!


I am ready for my wife to ask me to move into the basement

“She Came and She Touched Me” is such a good song

“. . . neighbors reported hearing the song ‘Bridge Over Troubled Water’ on repeat for six to seven hours before Mr. [Starsailor’s] body was discovered next to a half-drunk one-liter jug of grapefruit juice.”


Next time someone asks me how I’m doing, I’m just going to hand them a piece of paper with this on it

Food is absolutely the most boring thing to talk about

The only holiday I celebrate is my cat’s birthday


I hope the coroner’s report for my death makes note of how clean my ears are