26 June 2015

I told someone tonight that if we sat around long enough we could conjure up all the awful thoughts we’d ever need to push ourselves right over the edge.

This was outside the Wolfhound bar. I was the doorman. I had been reading a book and talking to lonely people.

We decided you can find darkness anywhere if you look. But why do that?

Think of the void, or whatever it is, like an aquarium exhibit. Best kept behind glass! Get close but not too close. Don’t fall in!

21 June 2015

this freakin turded-on wet blanket of a generation i was born into


21 June 2015

OK here’s a thing I am so sick of—and as far as I know it is exclusive to the city of Oakland, California:

People try to run me over all the time. Today I was walking home from Berkeley and I passed a gas station a block from my house, and this car screamed out of the place and nearly slammed into me. I had to run to avoid being hit! I would have gone flying into the street. As they sped down San Pablo I heard everyone in the car laughing.

This happens to me at least once a week. Usually someone will gun for me when I’m using a crosswalk, or if they see me on the other side of a parking lot. I ain’t even kidding!

Why is there hate in these people’s hearts?! Or is it just . . . uh, some deranged and terrifying nihilism going on?

Man. Man! Knock it off! I’m not afraid to die but I don’t wanna get hit by no god dang car!

21 June 2015

can you imagine being the kind of person who does something like run a “food blog”

20 June 2015

Standing all of five-foot-seven and looking like a vaguely depressed seventeen-year-old boy, I was a bouncer at a nearby bar tonight if you can believe it.

20 June 2015

I could spend the rest of my life driving around old places thinking about things that used to be important to me

I would have a much harder time driving around thinking about things that are currently important to me!

19 June 2015

Well, it’s official: none of my old girlfriends will ever talk to me again

19 June 2015

Am I currently using the Internet Of The Afterlife