22 January 2016

i got rid of that thing

that thing where i had been posting videos

it brought me a few moments of joy for about a week

now: no more

i can’t do that stuff, man

it creeps me out

i got rid of it

22 January 2016

near as i can tell this is what it looks like:

AUSTIN, TX: “hi! i love anything outdoorsy! i work in PR and love walking my dog! i love sports! i love breakfast tacos!”

PORTLAND, OR: “haaaaahhhhh pizza rules man hahaha satan i was daria for halloween i wish i would just die already lol i told my gynecologist i was going to kill myself and he laughed aliens 666”

22 January 2016

i think maybe last night i wrote a post that a lot of people thought was scary

22 January 2016

it is three minutes past minute and i have uncorked a frighteningly bad bottle of wine. i have been picking a different wine each time, none of them costing over $8. i guess at that price point you’ve got to know what you’re getting yourself into. it isn’t so bad after the first few sips. your throat accepts its fate and the body opens the gate. you are taking care of yourself, in some strange way, and it cost you less than ten bucks from your local grocer. self-medicating is sort of like self-preservation. i think so anyway. but then i don’t actually know anything at all.

it’s not as though i’m sitting here with black tar heroin. wine is a good buddy to have i reckon. it can be got cheaply and it is available everywhere. it feels less severe than liquor, and you can still respect yourself a little. drinking a six-pack feels like eating an entire loaf of bread.

dante is sitting on my lap. tomorrow afternoon it is going to start snowing. there will be several feet of snow on the ground by saturday. i guess that’s what they’re saying anyway. i went to the grocery store yesterday, very crowded, and got as much as i could carry and went the hell home. i was only 12 miles away but it took me an hour and a half to get back. it was snowing. i saw cars sliding all over the road and people getting into accidents.

i went home and descended way way down there. i am still down there. all i did today was lonesome road. i feel so sad it’s making me sick. i would give anything for a little comfort.

21 January 2016

i drove to lonesome road tonight

that’s a real road, by the way. it’s about two miles from where i grew up

someone had stolen the sign

i loved that sign: “lonesome rd”

still felt lonesome though

used to go there a lot with this girl i loved

been going there alone now for many years