In case you somehow didn’t know, today is

LAUNDRY
DAY

Earlier I was chillin at the laundromat in my Hooters shirt just feeling real good about everything, more or less. Since returning to Berlin, I have put on seven pounds I desperately needed simply by eating three meals a day and exercising a lot. My skin has cleared up from all the foul air and poisonous food I’d been exposed to in the United States. I couldn’t take much more of that stuff! My lips are still a little chapped from staying in Monty’s apartment . . . we all ended up with chapped lips on account of the air filters having not been changed in like four years. But I will be healed by the pure air in my Berlin apartment soon enough.

After I had moved about 500 black T-shirts to the dryer, I knew it was

ZEIT
FÜR
BROT

. . . or as I like to say: Time For Bread. And so I strutted down the block to the nearby Budni and got a pretzel croissant and a protein shake and a granola bar. Back outside, I found a yellow park bench and sat down and consumed it all. It was overcast with low-hanging blue clouds, but warm and breezy out and the sidewalks were nice and quiet. I felt a calmness. My neighborhood is so peaceful and beautiful . . . Hey: I love it.

In one week I will be in Estonia, in the capital city of Tallinn. I love the Estonian people (and have been accused of “collecting” them (not untrue)), but I ain’t never been to their homeland before. I’ve been meaning to visit for like eight years, so here we go. Emel could hardly believe it when I told her:

Maybe she’ll even hang out with me!!!

If you’d like a postcard from Estonia, just SAY THE WORD.

And now I shall sit down upon my Persian rug and fold my laundry. I feel a great longing for someone across the Atlantic, but there’s nothing I can do about it just yet, so I suppose I will just keep on yearning . . .

This is the best a man has ever looked.

(I once met a girl in Oakland, who for some reason came to my 26th birthday, and it was there she told me she didn’t think Harrison Ford was hot. To which I replied: “Baby, you’re dead wrong.” She later invited me over to watch one of the worst TV shows I’ve ever seen. Nice girl though . . .)

Also: don’t pay any mind to the haters . . . hating on this movie is the Normie Take. TEMPLE OF DOOM rules.

guy looks like a school shooter! i wouldn’t even trust this motherfucker to tie my shoe, all due respect LOL

. . . hey man why the fuck not!!!!!!!! 🇪🇪

she began to cry when you said good-bye
and sank into your dreams

I had a Beautiful Sunday with Tim and Jenny and New Friend Jan and . . . Digital Foundry’s own Alex Battaglia, who is apparently my neighbor here in Schöneberg! We shop at the same grocery store and everything! He said, “I’ve definitely seen you walking around . . .” lol

Apparently we’re also going to show up on Rüyam Gemüse Kebab’s social media shit?? They gave us free drinks to try their new fry sauce on camera. It was pretty good . . .

And while riding the U2 back to my neighborhood, we met what Tim referred to as a “Bespoke Chihuahua” who vaguely resembled a stoner Yoda.

Anyway: I love Berlin!!! You can have more fun in an hour here than you’ll have in a month in other places. It is truly a sort of paradise. And I live here!! Most of the time, anyway . . .

(Alex B. took down my number before he left. He asked me if I wanted to chill sometime. To which I replied: “Baby . . . you know it.”)