The universe and, more specifically, Mother Earth herself have been trying to wipe us out since the day the first drooling ape-man stood upright and jerked off while the sun set in the blood-red sky.

Listen: if a sinkhole opened up, I would jump right in. If a tornado came ripping down the street, I would let it toss me into oblivion.

If a meteorite rocketed into our atmosphere, I would rush to meet it where it landed.