Casper Lockett was fucking his robot secretary when the president called.
“Yes?” said Casper, still going at it.
“My god, man,” said the president. “What are you still doing there? Get the hell out of the city! Didn’t you hear the air raid sirens?”
“I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.”
“There’s no time. The bombs are set to go off in less than 20 minutes. You won’t escape the fallout unless you leave now.”
Casper hung up the phone and, with a handheld remote, dimmed the lights of his penthouse apartment.
“Who was that?” said Lisa, Casper’s robot secretary, whom he was still fucking.
“Just some jerk,” said Casper Lockett, pressing a button on the remote that would lower the shades.