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all right you jerks let’s freakin do this thing

by which i mean: we are gathered here today to celebrate paul newman’s birthday (he’s dead) and to watch akira kurosawa’s masterpiece SEVEN SAMURAI

yeah baby!

i will be periodically stopping the film (it is three and a half hours long) to 1) write posts on this website . . . of which i think i have about ten or eleven written in my head, and 2) grab a fresh BREWKI from the FRIDGE cuz it ain’t your 28th birthday unless you’re glugging down absolute toxic waste by yourself in your grandmother’s condominium which is located on the smoldering crater rim of eternity across the street from the hospital where, 28 years ago, your mother was sedated and you were taken out of her body via caesarean section and were born sick and had to stay in the hospital for two weeks and they put a little paper cup on your head so that your little baby hands wouldn’t touch the little baby needle which was pumping little baby antibiotics into your little baby body!!!!