this is a true story: the first job i ever got was as a bagboy (that’s what they called them back then) at a grocery store near my house. i was 15. and i got that job because i went up to the register with a tube of KY lube and a box of adult diapers. and as the cashier was ringing me up i asked if they were hiring and she gave me an application.

the best part was that after she had rung up the lube and diapers i said, “oh, shit, one second” and grabbed a bag of skittles and put them on the conveyor belt.

yeah baby!!!! that really happened!!!