You wanna know how to take over the world? And enslave all of its inhabitants, one by one?

Here’s the secret: Take all the frightened, newly-formed, gelatinous globs of almost-somethings called “people” and sell them ready-made, paper-thin personalities from any one of the demographics you’ve already created for them . . . and don’t fret, because you created them all.

Don’t sell them Coca-Cola. What is this, the 1970s? Sell them culture. It doesn’t matter if it’s bad. They’re terrified! Anything will do. Appeal to the lowest, most miserable parts of the human brain! Reach into that pocket and take out those wallets, God damn it, laughing all the while!

Now get out there and do it, solider! These people are practically waiting for you to pound them into space dust.