12 October 2013

If you owe someone money and you’re a huge asshole and they’re a huge asshole as well, you have my permission to use the following text I have prepared for just the occasion. I myself will never use it, so have at it:

Here is the money I owe you. To achieve optimal results with your new wealth, I suggest withdrawing every bit of it in singles to dump all over your bed. Roll around in the money for a little while. See how it makes you feel. Once you are finished, write a one-page paper detailing your experiences and then feed it to a garbage disposal.