Let’s call it a “space dumpster” for now. I am trash, I will write trash. The only thing trash can create is itself. (What?)

If you have any questions, you can ball them up and get right the heck over yourself! Otherwise write me an email or send me a letter in the mail. Why, just today I got a package from a woman in Providence, Rhode Island. Inside the package I found candy and cat treats. I have never met her before, but she doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would poison a stranger, or anyone at all for that matter. I don’t really like candy but I’m going to eat it anyway because I don’t absolutely not like candy. I also don’t really like cat treats either, but I guess I’m going to eat those too. What a lovely person! Thanks, dude.

Hmmmm. OK. I’m going to walk down to Reed College (a whole three miles from this coffee shop) and scare people by simply walking amongst them. How is this different from any other public outing of mine? Well, these are mostly young people, and lord knows they spook easily. Maybe one of them will be dumb enough to be my girlfriend. (Am I kidding??) Seeya later, jerks!!!!